Today has been one that has challenged me.It has challengedmy patience{in more ways than one}my heartandmy faith.
I have been challenged by my prayersnot being answered the way I've wanted them to be.My selfishness has{in moments}overcome my ability to trustthat the Lord's plan is better than my own.
TodayI have found myselfso bitterly angry.
I know that allowing ourselvesto feel all of our emotionsis a healthy part of grief but I'm going to be honest{I don't like it!}
I wish my emotions would just alwayscome out in anunderstandingpatientandloving way.{yeah...not going to happen}
Today my heart brokeat the news ofsome friends of ours losing theirsweet babySophie Abigail.
They've been battlingthrough a very tough pregnancyandlittle Sophie's heart wasn'tstrong enough to keep fighting.
{cue my intense anger} I've been prayingand prayingand prayingthat the Lord would perform a miracle.That Sophie would be born and thather heart and lungs would be strong.That she would live a longand beautiful lifewith her Mommy and Daddy.
{That's what would be best!}{Isn't it?!}
~Proverb 19:21~ "Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails."
At first I struggled with this. What if my plans are good?My plans don't hurt anyone.Why can't my plans prevail?!
Then I think about all the plansI've made that maybe weren't soselfless and well thought out.And in those moments how{GLAD} I was that the Lord was sovereignover my not so good plans.
I guess I should bejust as willing to surrendertheseGOODplans to Him.
~Jeremiah 29:11~{I know I've shared this before...}{It's just that good!}"For I know the plans I have for you.Plans to prosper you and NOT to harm you.Plans for a hope and a future."
But this doesn't feel good!I'm not prospering, Sophie's mommy and daddy aren't prospering...
Heartache and Deep Sorrowdon't even scratch the surfaceof the feelings...
But our Lord is the Great Healer.He is the Great Comforter.He is the only One who truly knows our hearts.He is faithful.
Nate, Steph, I pray that you would cling to the Lord. That He would pour out His peace on you both. That you would find comfort in His Word.This is a journey that no one ever dreams of facingand you've been thrust into it full force.Seek His truths in it all andallow yourselves to be weak.Because in our weakness He is our strength.
I hope that our girls are enjoying the Lord together. DancingandLivingfull of joy.
Thank you Jessi. It brings me peace to know that my beautiful neice is with your Daphne smilimg, laughing, and dancing with our Lord. Despite your own grief I feel truly blessed that you are reaching out to our family.
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