**Let's set the scene**

I had just gotten Lydia up from a nap
and headed in to E's room to let her know that quiet time was over.
She was sitting on her bed
(just like I had asked her to be) reading a book quietly.  She looked up from her book and sweetly said
"Hi Mamma..." with her crooked little smile.

{That's when I saw it}

I felt my smile turn quickly into a scowl. I felt my body temperature rise.
My heart started racing and my breathing sped up.

Marker...
In all different colors...
All. Over. The. Wall.

{I wanted to scream!!!}

All I managed to get out was a gasp.

She quickly froze.
She looked TERRIFIED.

She was afraid of me.  Actually afraid. Of me!
In that instant I just stopped.
I took a deep breath. In... and Out...
Without me ever saying a word she threw herself onto her pillow crying. Apologizing for being sneaky. Pleading with me not to get angry.  She. Was. Broken.
I told her that I needed her to gather all of her markers and give them to me.
Tearfully, she got up, gathered the markers, and handed them over to me. 
I walked out of her room, put then up where she can't get to them, walked to the cabinet with the cleaning supplies, and grabbed a sponge and some vinegar. 
When I walked back to her room she sniffled and said, "Mamma, I will clean it up! I promise! I'll do it all by myself."
I told her "Here, you take the sponge. I'll spray the vinegar and you wipe it up."
As she was wiping the walls clean of her creativity ;) she turned to me and said "Thank you for not yelling at me, Mamma. Thank you for not being mad."
But I WAS mad. {Really Mad!}
I just smiled a half smile at her and couldn't find the right words. So I didn't say anything. 
As we sat there in silence while she cleaned the walls the Lord spoke to my heart in a REALLY powerful way.
This is us.
This is ME.
Everyday.
I mess up. I make poor decisions. And I'm blissfully ignoring it until it's brought to light. Then I'm devastated by it. I BEG for grace and mercy. I BEG for forgiveness.
I promise, Promise, PROMISE I'm going to make it better.
I'm going to {BE} better...
and what does the Lord say?
"Here's your sponge. Let's clean this up together."
I'm so glad the Lord doesn't look on me and my messes with the wrath that I deserve.
You see, if it weren't for Jesus, I would NEVER have the ability to be forgiven.
The law can only be fulfilled by justice. My wrongs could only be righted by due punishment.
But Jesus brings the game changer and fulfills that. I'm justified by faith, which is a gift of grace, from Jesus by His death and resurrection.
{WOW!}
Can we all just soak that in for a second?!
Thank you Lord for not being angry with me.  Thank you Jesus for your grace.
John 1:16-17 -  For from His fullness we have all received grace upon grace. For the Law was given through Moses; grace and truth come through Jesus Christ.