For His Glory and Our Good: June 2012

Friday, June 29, 2012

Lately, for me, life is {straight up}confusing!
Trying to make all the right choicesDo all the right thingsBe a respectful and honoring wifeA loving, nurturing, and strong mother...
but what it feels like is:Flying around with my pants on firelike a chicken with it's head cut off{awesome mental image right?!}it's no exaggeration.
We've just completed{and by completed I mean everything is in one place}{and by no means organized}our third move since the middle of January.
We are thrilled{and incredibly blessed}to have a space of our own again.
We were so blessed by the hospitality offamily and friends over the last 5 monthsbut with a wild and crazy toddler, space toscream and make crazy messes is {invaluable}
But with our own home comes:unpackingyard sale-ingtrying to decide what's most importantthat we want to keep{since we don't have a lot of room}All the while keeping {trying}a normal routine for E who, in the meantime,has decided that she's no longer potty trained.
{like I said; pants on fire. chicken with no head}
Let me tell ya friendsfrustration levels are{flyin' up in here!}
Oh and did I mentionEvan is starting schoolI'm working more hours than I havein over two yearsand"busy"doesn't do our lifestyle justice.
I'm trying so hard to restand be at peace with{life}right now.
I'm trying to seekthe LordandHis will inall of the whacky going down.
But it's not easy.
My"Journey of Grief"{as a lot of counselor's call it}has been a strange one.
Things that I think maybeshouldset me off, usually don't.But the things that probablyshouldn'tmost always do.
A smell can remind me of Daphne andBOOMI'm done. Out of commission.
4 months is SO not long enough to process any of this!
{not to mention my patience level for people}{I feel like a terrible person sometimes}
Anyways, All this to say...
Life. Isn't. Easy.
I think we have all{mostly all}learned this in some way or another.
But, we make a choice.
We have to choose to let ourselves bedefeatedandbrought down.
OR
We choose joy. We choose to turn tothe God of the Universe who,{time after time},has pulled us out ofour messes,brushed us off,andmade us new.
No, this doesn't make hurts hurt any less.No, this doesn't make struggles disappear.
But it DOES make them lighter. {Jesus}makes them lighter.
Not Easier.
Lighter.

faith can be shaken but it cannot be moved

Sunday, June 03, 2012

Recently we went for a weekend away to

Union Creek.

The water was rushing through the gorge

with so much volume it was

{overwhelming}

I have the tendency to

be very introspective

while I'm outdoors.

And if you know me, you know that

Introspective

{typically}

isn't a good place for me.

But the Lord always meets me there

and He always teaches me there.

As I was staring at the water

{kind of feeling sad for myself}

I noticed a rock in the middle of the creek.

I could barely see it sticking out of the water.

It was being hammered from all sides by the raging water.

The rock was literally being

{overwhelmed}

by the torrents of water surrounding it.

My heart started aching for that rock.

{yes, you can laugh. I realize it sounds funny}

But in all seriousness,

I knew

{KNOW}

how that rock feels!

I started thinking about all

the emotions that were,

in that moment,

overwhelming me.

Seemingly drowning me.

I remembered the moment we learned Daphne had died.

I was gasping for air.

Trying to breath in a

{torrent}

of emotions.

That

{POOR}

Rock!

Wait...

{POOR ME!!!}

[cue my self pity]

{waaaahaaahaaaaaaa!!!}

Okay, I'm done.

That's when the Lord stepped in and said

"Now hold on. Look at the rock!"

~I am.~

"No. Don't look at the water."

{"Look. At. The. Rock."}

and there He taught me.

The rock,

while being

pounded incessantly

by the raging furry of water,

NEVER MOVED.

It withstood the beating.

It stood firm through the

overwhelming.

That rock and I have more in common that it may seem.

No. I'm not saying

"Look at me! I'm strong! I can deal with all of this!"

{and for those of you about to make a joke}

{about me being dumber than a rock... watch it!}

No.

I understood in that moment

that the

God of the Universe

placed that rock in the middle of the raging water.

The rock was being shaped and changed by the water.

But it never moved.

And it wasn't destroyed.

I understood that

the God of the Universe

has put me where I am.

He put me in the middle of

the

{raging water}

to shape me.

To {change} me.

To {grow} me.

But I'm still able to stand

knowing that

the God of the Universe

has given me

life

and I have not been destroyed.

God gives us a pretty amazing promise in Isaiah:

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
     I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
    and the flame shall not consume you.
For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior."

~Isaiah 43:1-3~

I will

{never}

be able to look

to my own strength

to survive the

hellish

waters

that come up and overwhelm me

on a daily basis.

But I know that

in Christ, alone, I have strength

to endure even the most disastrous

of trials.

He has given me the gift of faith.

Faith that without Christ is worthless,

but with Christ,

{BECAUSE}

of Christ,

cannot be moved.

Food for Thought:

What is He teaching you?

How is He challenging you?

How is He shaping you through the storms?

It's Not Easy

faith can be shaken but it cannot be moved

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