Thursday, March 15, 2012
What Do You Say When There Aren't Enough Words?
Thursday, March 15, 2012
"We ought to celebrate the positive glorious gifts of God, but the worth of God shines in a powerful way to the world when in the midst of suffering we still don't curse God but say
'the Lord gave and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord.'"
~John Piper~
In July the Lord gave us our sweet Daphne.
18 Days ago the Lord took her away from us before we ever got to meet.
My heart is broken.
My heart is angry.
My heart HURTS.
But I know that His plans are far {GREATER}
than anything I can fathom.
And so in my
brokeness
anger
HURT
I will bless His name. I will praise Him. I will SING.
I was blessed by the words of a friend recently.
They said:
"Just think, 8 months in your belly was all she needed. Now she's in Heaven with our God. She never had to experience the pain and ugliness that this world has to offer."
My first reaction was:
I DON'T CARE! I WANT HER NOW!
But then I have to think...
My deepest desire in life -as a mother- is to protect my children from the pain and ugliness in this world.
That they would seek Christ and know a deeper joy.
Daphne has that!
She knows that joy better than I.
She not only seeks Christ,
She {SEES} Christ.
In all His Glory.
She praises Him now as I write this.
She knows Him and knows what prize is awaiting us.
I'm intrigued by this quote.
"As soon as a baby enters the world, the baby is immediately introduced to pain. It is somewhat symbolic that life begins with a cry."
~R.C. Sproul~
I never had the joy of hearing my sweet Daphne cry.
But knowing that she never has to cry and never has to experience pain in any form is an incredible comfort to
my mommy heart.
I miss her so deeply.
Each night as I write her little notes I can smell her sweet scent.
{She smelled like cinnamon. The sweetest cinnamon.}
I lay awake thinking about all the things I wanted to
do with her
show her
teach her.
All the kisses I would have given her.
I think about the moments that I longed for just watching Eden play with her and love her.
I think about how much Evan loves her and all the things he would have done with her.
Then I think about the
Unfailing Love
that Christ is pouring over her.
How can I compete with that?!
This song that I attached has given me a lot of peace.
It was shared with me by a dear friend.
It's a simple reminder that while I
{instinctively}
think nobody can love my baby the way can,
we serve a God who loves us far beyond our imagining.
And His love for Daphne isn't anything less.
do with her
show her
teach her.
All the kisses I would have given her.
I think about the moments that I longed for just watching Eden play with her and love her.
I think about how much Evan loves her and all the things he would have done with her.
Then I think about the
Unfailing Love
that Christ is pouring over her.
How can I compete with that?!
This song that I attached has given me a lot of peace.
It was shared with me by a dear friend.
It's a simple reminder that while I
{instinctively}
think nobody can love my baby the way can,
we serve a God who loves us far beyond our imagining.
And His love for Daphne isn't anything less.
While I long for my sweet girl to be in my arms
and I wish I could wake up to a reality where
{NONE}
of this were real,
I must own this pain.
I must accept this horrible nightmare as my reality.
I must have
{HOPE}
that through my brokenness and hurt
my God has a great purpose for my sweet girl with Him.
And I can't wait for the moment that I get
to see what amazing things He has for her.
I LONG for the day I hold her again.
For the moment I see her sweet, beautiful face.
My heart cries
~COME QUICK, LORD! I WANT MY BABY!~
because I'm impatient
But I'm also anxious to see what path the Lord has for us here. What children He blesses us with.
What amazing things he will do through our loss of our sweet
Daphne Grace.
I already see mountains moved. I already see hearts touched.
Hearts that I never thought I would see changed.
God has absolutely
{DESTROYED}
our picture of what we wanted in life.
But ALL for His Glory and our good.
Praise Him for these miracles.
Praise Him for our miracle in Daphne.
She has ROCKED this world
and never even had to
experience it.
Take those perfect little toes and
Dance with Jesus, Sweet Daphne.
You. Are. Healed.
"Joy in affliction is rooted in the hope of resurrection, but our experience of suffering also deepens the root of that hope."
~John Piper~
Labels:comfort,grief,love,motherhood,praise,Selah,stillbirth
Subscribe to:
Post Comments
(Atom)
Oh Jess! I wish I could take all your pain away and give you everything back that was taken from you! We will never know exactly why God does the things he does but I can say that with your strong faith through all of this it has brought me closer to God again. It is called faith for a reason, in times like these we MUST cling to our faith and rely on our God that he has a plan and that is just what you have done! You are a wonderful mother, wife and woman and you have set an amazing example for everyone whose life you have touched. I love what your friend said, it is so true. Sweet Daphne got a first class ticket to paradise! How lucky and blessed are you to know she could not be with a better crew of people! Keep your faith young Momma, and keep remembering God has a plan! He never closes a door without opening another! You are in my thoughts and prayers!
ReplyDeleteBethanee & Adeline
We love you Daphne and can't wait to dance with you and your precious little toes!
Sweet Jess- I know we are not close but I know a little about you and a lot about pain. You have set a standard of love for God that we should all follow. Too often in this life do we give up on God for the littlest things. But then you come along and experience a mother's nightmare. AND YET instead of taking the road that most of us would...you carve a path into a steep mountain and climb to the very top and proclaim your love for God. WOW. what an inspiration! My heart has been broken for your family but this has been an eye opening experience for me. I pray for you, that you continue to change the status quo and that you continue to feel God's abounding love. God Bless you Jess, thank you SO much for your faith and your inspiration!
ReplyDelete