Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Thursday, March 15, 2012
What Do You Say When There Aren't Enough Words?
"We ought to celebrate the positive glorious gifts of God, but the worth of God shines in a powerful way to the world when in the midst of suffering we still don't curse God but say
'the Lord gave and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord.'"
~John Piper~
In July the Lord gave us our sweet Daphne.
18 Days ago the Lord took her away from us before we ever got to meet.
My heart is broken.
My heart is angry.
My heart HURTS.
But I know that His plans are far {GREATER}
than anything I can fathom.
And so in my
brokeness
anger
HURT
I will bless His name. I will praise Him. I will SING.
I was blessed by the words of a friend recently.
They said:
"Just think, 8 months in your belly was all she needed. Now she's in Heaven with our God. She never had to experience the pain and ugliness that this world has to offer."
My first reaction was:
I DON'T CARE! I WANT HER NOW!
But then I have to think...
My deepest desire in life -as a mother- is to protect my children from the pain and ugliness in this world.
That they would seek Christ and know a deeper joy.
Daphne has that!
She knows that joy better than I.
She not only seeks Christ,
She {SEES} Christ.
In all His Glory.
She praises Him now as I write this.
She knows Him and knows what prize is awaiting us.
I'm intrigued by this quote.
"As soon as a baby enters the world, the baby is immediately introduced to pain. It is somewhat symbolic that life begins with a cry."
~R.C. Sproul~
I never had the joy of hearing my sweet Daphne cry.
But knowing that she never has to cry and never has to experience pain in any form is an incredible comfort to
my mommy heart.
I miss her so deeply.
Each night as I write her little notes I can smell her sweet scent.
{She smelled like cinnamon. The sweetest cinnamon.}
I lay awake thinking about all the things I wanted to
do with her
show her
teach her.
All the kisses I would have given her.
I think about the moments that I longed for just watching Eden play with her and love her.
I think about how much Evan loves her and all the things he would have done with her.
Then I think about the
Unfailing Love
that Christ is pouring over her.
How can I compete with that?!
This song that I attached has given me a lot of peace.
It was shared with me by a dear friend.
It's a simple reminder that while I
{instinctively}
think nobody can love my baby the way can,
we serve a God who loves us far beyond our imagining.
And His love for Daphne isn't anything less.
do with her
show her
teach her.
All the kisses I would have given her.
I think about the moments that I longed for just watching Eden play with her and love her.
I think about how much Evan loves her and all the things he would have done with her.
Then I think about the
Unfailing Love
that Christ is pouring over her.
How can I compete with that?!
This song that I attached has given me a lot of peace.
It was shared with me by a dear friend.
It's a simple reminder that while I
{instinctively}
think nobody can love my baby the way can,
we serve a God who loves us far beyond our imagining.
And His love for Daphne isn't anything less.
While I long for my sweet girl to be in my arms
and I wish I could wake up to a reality where
{NONE}
of this were real,
I must own this pain.
I must accept this horrible nightmare as my reality.
I must have
{HOPE}
that through my brokenness and hurt
my God has a great purpose for my sweet girl with Him.
And I can't wait for the moment that I get
to see what amazing things He has for her.
I LONG for the day I hold her again.
For the moment I see her sweet, beautiful face.
My heart cries
~COME QUICK, LORD! I WANT MY BABY!~
because I'm impatient
But I'm also anxious to see what path the Lord has for us here. What children He blesses us with.
What amazing things he will do through our loss of our sweet
Daphne Grace.
I already see mountains moved. I already see hearts touched.
Hearts that I never thought I would see changed.
God has absolutely
{DESTROYED}
our picture of what we wanted in life.
But ALL for His Glory and our good.
Praise Him for these miracles.
Praise Him for our miracle in Daphne.
She has ROCKED this world
and never even had to
experience it.
Take those perfect little toes and
Dance with Jesus, Sweet Daphne.
You. Are. Healed.
"Joy in affliction is rooted in the hope of resurrection, but our experience of suffering also deepens the root of that hope."
~John Piper~
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
At the end of the day...
A lot happened! Three meals (which never happens), a job application :), three letters of recommendation, lots of phone calls, hip hop class, two doses of antibiotics for the sicky, budgeting (yuck), a shower, and freshly shaven legs(ahhhh :]).... oh and did I mention six -count em... 6 poppy diapers :)
All day I felt overwhelmed. On edge. I'm trying to work through my thoughts and figure out what it is that gets to me so easily. I still can't quite figure it out. I admit, I let a lot of of little things distort my way if thinking and I forget the Lord's promises to us. I put unimportant things at the center of my focus and I lose sight of the big picture. Because at the end of the day, I'm a redeemed child of the Living God, a wife, and a mother. Nothing else really matters.
At the end of the day, this is what matters.
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Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope
If you have found yourself on the journey of pregnancy or infant loss, I encourage you to join this blog. A community of families that know the journey well.
