I'm afraid.
My whole life
{for whatever reason(s)}
I've been terrified.

Of what you ask?
{Being a Disappointment}

I feared my grades in school because I didn't want to be a failure.
I feared failure because that meant that someone's expectation of me wasn't being upheld.
I feared being close with people because that means I might not be what/who they want or expect me to be...
I still struggle daily with this. 
I find myself longing to say "No"
but I just can't because I want to be {to feel} included.
I'm afraid that if my friends are able to go on and enjoy themselves without me that they mat not want me around anymore.
{obviously I don't think my friends NEED me} {i just fear being replaced}
I fear that my daughters will grow up and have bad memories of me. I fear that I'll never have anything valuable to offer them. I fear that I'm going to {FAIL} as a mother and be a disappointment to them.
I fear that if I don't keep the house clean and cook amazing healthy meals I'll {FAIL} at being a good wife and I'll disappoint my husband.
I fear that I'm not a "good Christian" because I {FAIL} to do the "right" things and I don't read my Bible as often as I "should" and that I'm a disappointment to God.
Anyone else feel this fear?
Anyone see the problem in this {"Fear of Disappointment"} ???
It's ALL about ME. 
There it is. 
me. Me. ME.
Where in any of my fears have I stopped and sought truth in them?

My Girls could care less about anything I do so long as I spend time with them and show them affection and speak love into their lives and hearts.
My husband could {usually ;) } care less if the laundry isn't all finished, the dinner isn't done, and the house is a mess... So long as I show him the respect and love he deserves and needs. 
As far as disappointing God... Let's be real.  God knows my inner-most thoughts. He created me.  He knows my sinful nature and therefore has no illusion about what I am or am not capable of. 
Really all this fear... is of myself. I'm afraid to disappoint me. 
And I beat myself up day in and day out over my own selfish heart. And as a result, {I fail} {I disappoint} all because I'm so caught up in {Me Monster Mode}
Time. For. Change.
I want to live unafraid. I want to live presently. I want to live a life that blesses my family and doesn't fear them. I want to honor my God with my life and be unafraid of what I "might" do wrong. 
2 Timothy 1:7 - For God gave a spirit not of fear but of power, love, and self-control.
{Power} The power to live according to His will.
{Love} The ability to love the Lord and the people that He has placed in our lives.
{Self-Control} The presence of mind to fight off those pesky lies of the enemy that tell us we're not good enough and to live in the truth that we CAN be a blessing.
God has not given you a spirit of {fear} but of {POWER} {LOVE} & {SELF-CONTROL}